Surmai for 3200 ONLY!

Ramola is our neighbourhood fisherwoman. She’s not our ‘exclusive’ fisherwoman (yes, the association is holier than client agency AOR). I’m digressing.

Anyways, with the festive mood of Diwali + Christmas in the air, I was on my way back from the market after buying some fruits and a beautiful lantern for the house (at “BONIE” (first sale) rates) and was MIGHTY pleased with my self when Ramola yelled out - AYE BHAI! (Oh brother!)…..now usually I walk faster because I’m useless at bargaining without my wife at my side. But today was different. So I decided to indulge her.

She had a fresh catch of Surmai (Kingfish) and I sheepishly asked her how much? (My wife isn’t around remember) “Surmai for 3200 ONLY!” she says, knowing fully well this click isn’t going to convert into a lead much less a sale!

So she starts to offer me other SKU’s in her basket - “Pamplet” (promfret), Jinga (Prawns), Kekda (Crabs). Based on customer profile and Wallet size, she didn’t feel it necessary to offer anything else. Also she didn’t want to waste time, should our “exclusive” fisher woman show up! Priya loves prawns and after uninanmously agreeing that “happy wife = happy life” she proceeded to dunk her hands into the chiller and bring up hand fulls of the “premium” prawns, the ones you pay Rs. 1000/- bucks in a restaurant, I got for Rs. 200/- (BONIE rate, remember? The list price being Rs. 500/-).

Because its Diwali and because its 4 Bungalows fish market, I decided I must do something.

I asked her if she was interested in selling online? “Ofcourse, I will also do free home delivery” was the response! “Par humko yeh online website ka such malloom nahi hai bhai”

Now the fun starts.

I whip out my iPhone to take a pic with her holding the most expensive SKU’s which I thought id put up as an Insta-story.

But my camera hangs! (Its an iPhone 6 with 32 GB of FREE storage) and 1508 pictures. I’m digressing.

So after fiddling with my phone for 5 minutes, I sheepishly ask if I can use her phone to take the picture.

She whips out he Samsung.

The Camera opens without a blink and I click 6 pics. Ramola is smiling & posing with her fish and crabs like we are going to make a million bucks! (Im a little nervous).

Now I have to enter my phone number into her address book - since I a little rusty with the Android UI, I take about 2 minutes more to figure it out.

Then I Open WhatsApp - India’s favourite messaging application and proceed to create a message to forward the pics to myself.

But my number is not appearing in her address book….everytime I type “SHE”, “SHEETAL” keeps surfacing. Yes, I know the address book takes time to Sync on WA. So I wait. And try again. “SHEETAL” still.

So I open Bluetooth, hoping to “AirDrop” from Android to IOS! :) All I can see is a Computer icon and a HeadPhones icon. For a moment I think the phone thinks my iPhone is a computer and I click on the Computer Icon. “Error”

So I (very unwillingly) fish out her SMS icon and begin to attach the pictures one after the other. Then I see that dreaded acronym - “MMS” and the status says, “Your MMS will be sent when the phone regains Network!”

So I make a phone call from her phone to mine to test the Network!….It works.

All this is happening while a garbage truck has parked right next to us and the stench is all encompassing. I remind myself Im the agency, she’s the client. This is HER office. Suck it Up!

Then it starts to drizzle. I quickly hand her phone back to her colleague (Ramola is nowhere to be seen)

I’m on Airtel. No idea which Network she is on.

Will find out when I go back to pick up the prawns!

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RAMOLA BHEN (SISTER) +91.88.792.597.03

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